Stress

Today is one of those days where I feel that I can't do anything right. I'm trying to juggle school, work, riding, friends, and still have some time leftover for myself, and that's not happening.

School right now is at an all time high in stress level. It seems that every time I turn around, there is a new project or test or paper or report due. My test calendar has *one* free day for the month of November, every other day I have something due. It's all adding up, and for the first time in my life, I can't do everything. School usually comes easily to me, but this year, I've had to work, and work hard.

Work: I work at a local barn, teaching horseback riding lessons to young girls twice a week. I work 4 hours per week, two on Tuesday and two on Thursday. It's hard work, but rewarding. I've recently asked for a raise (from $10 per hour to $12), since the gas and travel time make it not worth it to me - I drive half an hour each way to work, and my car gets about twenty miles per gallon. My employers denied me the raise, saying, validly, that I didn't have enough experience. At first, I wanted to just quit, but I've fallen in love with two of my students (the most adorable little girls you will ever meet), and have decided to cut down my hours to just Thursday. The money I make still isn't worth it, but because I'm teaching those two girls, I will make it work.

Ever since my horse tore his ligament in June, I've been hopping around from horse to horse, just riding whatever I can get my hands on. It's a really good experience for me, but it does mean that I cannot compete at the level I want to, and cannot move up to the next level (which was my plan had my horse not gotten injured). I ride three days per week, Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday. Right now, I'm leasing an adorable green mare for the month of November, and hope to lease an experienced gelding (that I can compete at the next level on) starting in December. Riding is probably the one area of my life that I have the least stress, thank goodness.

My friends at school are feeling many of the same pressures that I am, and contrary to popular belief, misery does *not* like company. It's made us all a little crabbier and a little quicker to snap at each other, which doesn't help the stress. All I can do is deal with my own stress, and just try to be there for my friends, something that is easier said than done when I am getting yelled at every few minutes. One of my very best friends recently got very upset at me. Because of that, she has not talked to me for the past few days, unless she absolutely had to. This hurts more than I care to admit, because this friend and I have gone through absolutely everything together and have never had a fight like this before. I know it will all work out in the end, but it's hard to have hope when the person you usually talk to about things like this is the one not talking to you.

-E